Stu By Any Other Name
by pastelPLUNDER
Summary: Stu thought he was being pretty obvious. Murdoc thought he was just not being a vegetable anymore.


"Do you really need to do that?" A lilting cockney accent cut through the storm of curses and very colourful swear words, you actually hear the sound of a head snapping around like an owl on crack. A very angry green bean turns to glare at its pit eyed companion.

"Do I have to do _what?"_

"Well, y'know," Red Converse shuffled together nervously and the blue haired beauty took a small step backwards, "I jus't don't think that kickin' the tire's gonna help much. Won't make it less...flat." Stu gestured wildly with his hands, as he was wont to do as he explained his thought process.

"OH, I'm sorry, Princess! How about _you_ come over here and fix it!" The words were growled angrily and Murdoc's voice raised angrily to establish just how not alright he was with the simpering from his boyfriend.

"Well, I mean _neither_ of us is really fixin' it."

"I swear to _Lucifer_ , Dents!"

They had known each other a week and a half before they started dating. Well, actually known each other, as in talked to and talked at, after 2d got out of his little coma. They hadn't spent the time arguing, as the average viewer may think, they had spent the entire week and a half together. Let's back it up a little.

Stu had decided the older man was, to put it bluntly, scary. He endeavored to never be in the room alone with him. Murdoc, on the other hand, had grown a little too used to Stuart's constant company when he was a vegetable and didn't seem to want to let go now just because the man had gained the ability to decide how much time he actually wanted to spend in the Satanist's company. Not fully aware of this decision, Murdoc endeavored to be in the same room as him almost at all times.

You'd think this would cause problems but it didn't. If Stuart ever did attempt to leave, and he didn't, he was to afraid to bring attention to himself, Murdoc would only have to bark that age old question of 'where you going' and he'd sit right back down. A neat trick, that.

The drawbacks at first were a very nervous 2d and a very frustrated Murdoc. To justify wanting him in the room, Murdoc talked to him almost incessantly about whatever came to mind, which lead to some awkward silences, but nothing you'd call the police over. Stu didn't get to respond much but that was alright because once Murdoc started talking he didn't really want to start ever again.

So, that was...kind of bonding? Poor, compassionate 2d, who had never had anyone be this close to him in his life, became infatuated. "I get something in me stomach when I think about you." "Disgust?" "I think about you in the shower." "So, not disgust?" They were together by the end of Sunday.

Russel had groaned and wondered what fresh Hell the band had been brought into. Noodle hadn't really seemed to pick up on the change, but drew them together more often, a green stick and it's blue spiky sea urchin boyfriend. The band was still very new, and the residence at Kong Studios barely broken into, but the band was already very close. You can blame that on the lovable Noodle if you like.

"Maybe we should just call Russ to have 'im pick us up." Stu looked down the road in the direction of civilization, not noticing the dirty look Murdoc had thrown him, "He's still got his mum's car."

"You wanted to go on a date, didn't ya?!"

Stu frowned and looked down, "Actually no."

"What?!" Murdoc yelled and accompanied the question with a hard kick to the jeep door. The steel toe of his boot left a considerable dent in the door and Stu jumped, "You've been asking me all week!"

"Yeah, but I just didn't feel like it tonight!"

"Whatever, go call your man 'Russ'." Murdoc threw a hand over his shoulder in harsh dismissal and threw himself back into the still car, lighting up a cigarette and pouting.

He completely missed the way 2d's lip wobbled and how his eyes shined, waiting two minutes before gathering himself up enough to make the call. His hand rubbed absentmindedly over his chest.

It wasn't actually Noodle's birthday. But a bit of a heart to heart between Russ and Noodle showed that she didn't actually know what that was. So they were in a Denny's on Halloween, having opted out of trick or treating because Noodle had already tried to attack three different children five minutes apart. They didn't feel like explaining in Japanese that she wasn't supposed to hit other kids so this felt like a healthy alternative. They'd let her get anything on the menu, a mistake because the term 'starving artist' certainly applied to the group and because Noodle had wanted to try every American dish she could get her hands on.

So they all sat next to the over excited Noodle, who repeatedly insisted on shoving chicken strips in between her pancakes, giggling all the while.

"So, how old is the birthday girl?" 2d leaned over the table amusedly, faux asking Noodle. The thing was a gawdy and faded red, littered with stains of the meals of yesterday and 2d didn't notice for three whole seconds that his elbow had gotten into a mountain of mashed potatoes.

"Noodle!" She smiled and proudly held up ten fingers, "Jū!"

"Look at that, we get a guitar player and a Japanese lesson all in one!" Russel nudged her arm playfully and a few sprinkles of glitter fell out of her hair and into the potatoes. With 2d's elbow imprint and Noodle's glitter in it, Russel quietly declared them no longer fit for consumption and moved them out of the young girl's arm range.

2d laughed and turned to Murdoc beside him, who had been suspiciously quiet this entire time. He had ordered some weird steak thing and had the bow from a gift already opened in his left hand, crumpling the thing and tearing it up like he needed something to do. 2d frowned but decided to leave it alone for now.

"How did you like your birthday, Noods?" He returned his attention to the overexcited child that had decided it would be funny to try and climb on top of the table, held in place by a struggling Russel.

"Otoko wa kai taikutsuda!"

"Bit of a shit Japanese lesson," Murdoc muttered in the corner, and 2d took it as a good sign that he was at least listening.

Murdoc turned over to Noodle who had finally succeeded in standing up and offered her a smile. She gave a toothy grin back and proceeded on with her day.

2d settled back into the booth, watching his thrown together family. Russel looked worn out, almost like a mother on her second or third child, but happy, all his attention absorbed by Noodle. She giggled happily on the table and waved at people in neighboring booths, twisting out of Russel's grip incessantly and totally oblivious to the little feathers and glitter that fell from the boa Murdoc had bought her. He may have been a bit quiet at the moment, but for the rest of the night Murdoc'd been sharing the spotlight with Noodle, a 34 year old infant for the night. He'd gotten quiet at the end but 2d supposed he was entitled to that, his green tinged skin only cementing the fact that he looked tired as all Hell.

"Sweetie, you're gonna have to get off the table." The southern drawl that wafts over the band is only slightly tinged with frustration and that makes 2d feel a lot better about all the commotion they've caused. The fluorescent lights in the diner flicker and 2d takes this as another reminder that they should wrap up the night, eager to get Little Miss Happy Dance down for at least eight hours of sleep.

He feels a blush covering his face and hurriedly picks up Noodle to set her down on their side of the booth, "Sorry ma'am."

The pretty redhead only smiles, "No need to call me 'ma'am'!" And it's true. She's at most 25 but it would be no surprise to 2d if her youthful complexion actually came from being in here early twenties. She's got lips the color of pink rose petals and orange freckles that scattered on the bridge of her nose. Sparkling emerald eyes catch on the group and the phrase "southern peach" comes to mind. 2d wonders what that means.

"Yes, terribly sorry ma'am," Murdoc's voice pipes up for the first time in the hour, tone dripping with faux sympathy and the wink he sends the waitress's way at the mention of the title only highlights his purpose. Stu feels very cold and regrets only wearing his Spiderman shirt tonight.

She giggles (Lily) and lingers, asking the group (Murdoc) if the food is alright (Lily and Murdoc).

2d doesn't answer and barely hears for a moment.

Of course it was going to happen there was never a chance of it not happening but why tonight why on Noodle's birthday why when they're having a good time when they're being a family why couldn't she have come along on any other day like last tuesday when nothing happened or next tuesday when they've got nothing planned why her why not someone else someone less pretty someone less different than him and why at all or why now or

"Stu, we're going." Russel's gruff voice penetrates whatever cotton had filled 2d's ears and he blinks, "Man, what are you doing," He's turned around fully now and his blank eyes fill with confusion, "Why're you picking at yourself?"

His arm has a bunch of angry red marks on it and some of them are bleeding. 2d bites his lips and turns to the rest of the group, all standing by the door with their coats on, Murdoc with his eyebrows pressed together.

"I had an itch."

Murdoc's face clears and he turns to leave.

"Wait-wait-wait," 2d pushes on Murdoc's chest for a moment while he blindly reaches for the doorknob and shoving the door open, falling through violently being their reward, "Kay good, Noodle-"

"Don't talk about Noodle while I'm tryna screw." A long tapered tongue makes it's way behind 2d's ear and he lets out a breathy moan that ends in a giggle.

"Make love." A correction followed by painted fingernails curling into the meaty part of Murdoc's ass through jeans that were definitely painted on.

"Yeah-yeah," Sharp teeth sink into 2d's shoulder and he gives a violent flinch, thrown off course for a moment, before deciding to just lean into it. He sucks a mark of his own under Murdoc's jaw, far more gentle in comparison but still giving sharp little nips.

2d let his hands roam all over Murdoc's body, seemingly without a care in the world before freezing and asking if it was alright. Murdoc snickering and thrusting their clothed pelvis' together in lieu of answer. He felt considerably wet around the neck when 2d told him to sit on the bed. He quickly did so but insisted on bringing 2d down with him, pulling him up from where he'd hit the ground on his knees to pull him into his lap. Their lips connected again and 2d found he didn't actually mind cutting his tongue on his boyfriend's sharp teeth, as long as he was doing _that_ with his hips.

Murdoc's long sleeve was thrown off in the brief moment where he had to pull away from 2d and 2d dove forward, latching onto a nipple and ignoring Murdoc's groan.

"B-babe," Murdoc panted, "Take your shirt off."

2d froze.

"Rather not." It was spoken too quickly to sink in for another moment, in which Stu had decided to swirl his tongue around his boyfriend's hip bones.

"No,wh-" Murdoc sat Stu more fully in his lap, "Wait, yes," 2d's confused face morphed into one of horror as Murdoc tried to shuck off the shirt, lifting at the bottom with clenched fists.

"Hey!" 2d desperately shoved desperately at the bottom of his shirt, " _Stop that!"_ Murdoc immediately did so at the urgency in 2d's hiss.

"How are we supposed to have sex without you taking off ya shirt?!" The question is snapped but Murdoc thinks about it a second later, "Actually, that could work."

"Sorry," 2d blushed and shook his head, "Maybe we shouldn't have sex tonight. I can just do you instead!"

Murdoc seemed to completely ignore the last remark, baffled about the sudden turn of events, "Why the hell not? What happened?"

2d tittered nervously and leaned away from Murdoc, skin no longer touching and hands twisting nervously in his own hair, "It's just I've not got anything on under this and-"

"Yeah, that's the point."

"No! It's just I'm not wearing my binder tonight and it seems like a bad tim-"

" _I'm sorry?_ "

"Yeah, it's in the wash and I dunno maybe we should've talked a little more-"

" _YOUR WHAT?"_ Murdoc's voice raises to overshadow 2d's.

"Yeah, my," Blue eyebrows furrow and he's peering directly into Murdoc's mismatched eyes like he'll find the answer to his confusion in there, "My binder? Yeah, I've only got the one cuz I didn't have money for another and it's gotten a bit dirty so-"

"Slow down," Murdoc quickly raises Stu off him and sets him down on the bed next to him, standing up quickly with widened eyes. The temperature in the room has dropped ten degrees and Stu's feeling considerably less sexy than he did a minute ago, a block of ice forming in his stomach, "What exactly do you need a binder for?!"

Stu stays silent.

"STUART!"

"Wh-" Heat floods 2d's face and the tips of his ears feel like they're burning. There's something in his throat and his eyes feel hot too, "WHY ARE YOU SO SURPRISED!" They're yelling now and to Hell with the rest of the band's sleep.

"YOU NEVER SAID YOU NEEDED ONE!"

"YES!" It comes out as more of a shriek than anything and 2d immediately adjusts into something more reasonable, "Wh-when we first met I told you I was transitioning."

"I DIDN'T KNOW THAT'S WHAT YOU MEANT!" Murdoc makes no attempt to regulate his own voice.

"WHAT ELSE COULD I POSSIBLY MEAN BY "TRANSITIONING"?"

"FROM A VEGETABLE STATE TO A MOVING ONE!"

" _WHAT?_ " Stuart, the man himself is about to dig into the crappy reasoning of that one, but Murdoc flaps a hand in his direction and sets about hurriedly shoving his arms through his reclaimed black shirt. Stuart watches, mortified beyond belief and with tears quickly gathering in his bottomless eyes.

"I gotta go." He hasn't had chance to disguise the pure panic in his voice. He heads for the door but is stopped by 2d.

" _Murdoc_." It's a shocked gasp. An exhalation. A beg, a question, a statement. It doesn't stop Murdoc from going through the door.

He probably does know that Stuart is crying.

He'd been back in the morning, on time and ready to rehearse. There was no clue on him for where he'd been all night but he didn't smell of alcohol and he didn't smell of perfume. 2d imagined himself not caring and got lost in that little fantasy throughout several warm ups.

Murdoc had started talking to him the moment rehearsals started, small snarks and comments that usually made Stuart smile, but Stu was ignoring him today. Murdoc ended up being the only one talking, as Russell and Noodle both ended up hearing the commotion last night and deciding to stay quiet.

It was a grueling practice and a horrible jam session.

"I got you flowers."

"Shove 'em up your ass."

Murdoc sighed irritably and rubbed his head. He was not used to reaching for people and loathed when they did not reach back. He'd had to do this for an entire three hours now and he was ready to die. The azure haired singer hadn't turned around from the sink full of dirty dishes once, and the Satanist was getting very tired of leaning on 2d and saying any outlandish comment that came to mind to try and get a reaction. Come to think of it, "shove 'em up your ass" could be the longest thing 2d's said in the past three hours.

"Okay so, are you angry cause I left or are you angry cause I didn't come back."

2d whirled around, a lanky monster squeezing a Mr. Clean sponge in yellow rubber gloves, "I'm angry cause you were angry!". He threw the sponge at Murdoc, hitting him square in the chest as he was only five feet away and landing on the ground with a wet splat. Murdoc thankfully chose not to retaliate, satisfied for the moment with the attention.

"Shocked! I was shocked, not angry!"

"Then why did you _leave?_ "

"It was a change, a very sudden change, I had to go and think."

"There was no change," 2d looked very exhausted with this conversation already, "I'm still your boyfriend."

"Yes, thank you, Einstein," Murdoc rolled his eyes like he didn't even realize this may have been a point of worry for Stu, "I know that."

"Then what's the problem?!"

Murdoc looked concerned all of a sudden, "I didn't hurt you did I?"

" _What_?"

"I never said nothing offensive did I?" Murdoc scrunches up his face like he's trying to remember everything he ever said, "Cause sometimes I run my mouth and don't really think it through." 2d snorted and sniffled, relaxing a little more into the counter, "My dad used to rant about all the gays, I don't really remember it all but I hope I didn't pick anything up from him."

"Honey, you did pick something up from him. You're 34 and you've been out of the closet for like three months."

"So?"

"You keep talking about poetry?" 2d frowned, "Like, that's not a gay thing, Mudz."

"Maybe I just like poetry you don't know my life."

"Murdoc, I do know your life." 2d sighed and slung off the rubber gloves, turning to face Murdoc more fully, placing a hand on his arm in a display of support, "And it sucked. Your dad was a bad man, but all things considering you did a pretty good job not becoming like him," Stu gave a small smile, "But that's not a get out of jail free card, you're 34 and should know better. So, if you ever run out of a room or treat me any different because I'm trans, I'm leaving your sorry ass."

"I just had to think."

"Shut up."

Murdoc smiled and leaned in to kiss 2d softly, nodding in quiet agreement to the verbal contract 2d had just offered up. He grinned wolfishly a moment later though.

"I'm gonna suck your dick later."

" _Murdoc._ "


End file.
